The Messy Coffee Table

When I think back to the month of April 2020, I wish I could tell myself that this was only the beginning. At the time, I had only been working from home for about a month but it felt like an eternity. All our church events and services were cancelled and we were pre-recording everything, including Easter services. With the exception of a small few, I was not seeing people regularly in the same way we had been before, and that included our family. I was beyond weary already, not knowing how much longer this might (and would) go on.  Screen fatigue was an understatement. One day as I sat answering e-mails and submitting invoices, the headache I'd had all day suddenly gave way to nausea. Looking at my screen was physically dreadful. Over the next couple of weeks it would get to the point where I couldn't even read a text message without feeling dizzy and nauseous. Even armed with blue light glasses and anti-nausea remedies, the headaches and fatigue were unbearable. But I was pus...

Do you feel like your voice is heard above all the noise? I've really struggled with this one. As an enneagram 4 with a 3 wing (I know, nerd-alert), I long to be authentically known, seen, and heard. I long to have a voice in the things that matter to me. Whenever I feel silenced, or drowned out by other voices, I get insecure. I start to question, will I really matter in this world if the world can't hear my voice? This gets all jumbled up in my vocation too - as a singer and a worship leader, the voice is essential. Whenever I get sick and can't sing, it breaks something in me. I feel useless. If there's a particular issue we feel strongly about, but the powers that be aren't really listening, we can even start to feel like our voices don't really matter. That's when sin and anxiety try to creep in and speak for us. Sin is wanting to mute everyone else so that we alone can be heard. This works great for Zoom meetings (efficiency-minded introverts, unite!)....

Y'all, I love to eat. I've tried "dieting" but my desire to look a certain way has never been stronger than my desire to enjoy food. I am unapologetically hungry for gathering and feasting with my people. I love a home-curated menu. Decadent trays of charcuterie and glasses of wine preluding a fresh-off-the-oven dish, filled in with sides contributed by all the guests, enjoyed around someone's table...passing this or that, filling and re-filling glasses, catching up and swapping stories. Top it off with a fabulous dessert and retreating to the living room with a night-cap in hand, and you've just described my kind of evening. I also love going out. I love experiencing a menu as it was meant to be experienced. No modifications, no substitutions. My husband rolls his eyes at me for liking "fancier" places (and I'm not talking about 5-star dining here, just anything slightly "elevated"). For him it's mainly about sustenance, at a reaso...

There are certain aromas that immediately take you to a time and a place. Like the smell of pumpkin pie baking in the oven...I'm brought back to childhood days of holiday meals and family gatherings. That time of year I always find myself looking for candles that bring the same spiciness and warmth to our home. Or like the salty coastal air, the briny sea breeze an echo of gathering under shade of palms, kicking a soccer ball around, lazing in hammocks, playing music and sipping on cheap beer. When I smell garlic roasting in a pan, I think of home...I think of learning to cook with and for my husband in these first few years of marriage, no kids yet, just trying our best to be adults and find a rhythm. When I smell pineapple and coconut I also think of my husband, soaking up the sun somewhere in the Keys, letting the days crawl by slowly, listening to The Eagles or Jack Johnson by the pool. The smell of coffee brewing reminds me of my dad, and early mornings driving me to school wh...

Good lighting has become really important to me. I'm a big aesthetics person, so for me, the right light at the right time is everything. It instantly creates a mood and sets the pace for whatever place you're in. I have three favorite kinds of light: morning light, warm glow, and the golden hour. That has to be one of the dorkiest things I've ever said, but I don't care. Morning light is that cool, natural sunlight that streams into your windows at the beginning of a clear spring day. It's a light breeze making the curtains flutter ever so slightly, and the sound birds chirping outside. It's the first sip of coffee curled up on the couch on a Saturday morning. It's the kind of light that makes our dog all squinty-eyed as he emerges from the dark coziness of our bedroom, stretching sleepily.  Warm glow is exactly what it sounds like. Think of a string of warm white lights on a Christmas tree, or lining a covered backyard patio. It's the kind of light tha...